On a rainy weekend one of my besties and I decided to head to LACMA to soak in a little artistic culture. Fortunately, the weather cleared upon arrival and our privilege of membership had us oooing and aaahing over works in no time flat. What surprised me was just how large the complex is and how much was on display. But I have to say the above horse-bit adornment was one of my favorites. Only the ancients of the Middle East could create something so inspiring. I certainly wouldn’t mind having one of these in the mouth of my favourite pony… Especially if it will get him to pay closer attention. After sharing such a great afternoon art-hopping, though, I’m sure to be little more relaxed in the saddle either way. Of course, that could have something to do with the cocktails from the ABBEY that evening… BAM!

MUAH!

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We first got a taste of heels with shorts in the 1980s with the sexy hi-jinx of Daisy Duke. Mariah caught our attention more than a decade later with the debut of her Daisy Dukes inspired “Loverboy” look. Although, Mariah’s was a bit more “cheeky”. Both rocked the look with heels but in our current age of chic and sophisticated fashion I fear many would miss the opportunity to have a bit of fun this season. So here are a few guidelines to keep you from looking too trashy. A 1″, 2″ or 3″ heel works well with just about any short length. But remember, the higher you go the more you will inevitably show. Just about any wedge will add a bit of sexiness without you being mistaken for a hooker. And, offer the stability of a quick getaway from any pervy creeps trying to cop a feel. But beware the 4″ stiletto, double or triple platforms. Pairing any of these three with shorts isn’t for the inexperienced. Only a pro will be able to navigate these options without toppling over. But even more important, if you’re lacking the confidence that you look less like a trollop and more like a Top Model in any of these combos, get a pair of Tod’s loafers and call it a day. You’ll have just as much fun and the only beads of sweat on your brow will be from the heat.

MUAH!

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Ahhh… There’s nothing better than the taste of cold, fresh milk. Home deliveries of bottled milk are all but a distant memory. But you can still enjoy the fresh taste June Cleaver, Laura Petrie and Lucy and Ethel enjoyed from your local dairy farms. Bottled milk is popping up all over the country, my SoCal favourite has to be Broguiere’s of Montebello, CA. I couldn’t resist grabbing one of these 1950-style bottles on a recent visit to Sprout’s. The bottles just looked so damn CUTE! AND, I could add the fun red top to my vase of wine corks and Pellegrino caps. Even better than the look was the taste. Almost as natural as milking the cow yourself with none of those pesky hormones. I swear I’ll never go back to cartons or plastic containers again. Plus, Sprout’s gives you $1.25 for every bottle you bring in for recycling. Being green never felt so, well, green… CHA-CHING!

MUAH!

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And I thought my life was a wreck! This week’s Reality Check finds me having more and more sympathy for Beverly Hills Housewife, Brandi; less and less sympathy for Kim Richards; and juicy anticipation for the wreck that is about to become Atlanta’s newest wannabe, Marlo.

Brandi has gone from misunderstood to the only who understands what’s going on. From the outset she was the only one of the Beverly Hills ladies to call out, not just Kim’s shenanigans/alleged drug use but all the other ladies for prentending nothing was going on. This week we clearly saw… SOMETHING IS GOING ON! Kim stumbled through a trashy hotel room (I KNOW she wasn’t in Bev.Hills) in search of “medicine” in various makeup bags and clutches strewn across the bathroom floor. On the way to a party she investigated the contents of a limo trash can, took off her bra and just got sloppier and sloppier. Her excuse(s): a “little off”… Ken (the gay bull mastif) is mean to her… and she might be three months pregnant… TRAIN WRECK.

Meanwhile, Brandi showed class and elegance at Lisa’s opening of SUR when one of the hired hands walked by and was recognised as her ex-husband’s mistress. Lisa quickly kicked the HOME-WRECKER to the curb but one must wonder about the peeps showing up to Ms. Vanderpump’s establishments. Apparently, Adrienne’s husband’s ex-girlfriend was also in attendance. I may have to forgo shilling at her eateries for a while for fear of running into my future baby daddy’s ho… :-/

Meanwhile, the ladies of Hotlanta are gearing up to WRECK housewifey in the making/parolee, Marlo. Seems that homegirl has no less than seven (7) mug shots in a history riddled with Big Poppas, Bad Checks and a collection of orange jumpers only Lindsey Lohan could envy. NeNe’s about to take her as a companion human shield to Africa. Something tells me the lions, tigers and bears that are Phaedra, Kandi and Sheree will chew this lamb up and leave the bones for Cynthia to play with. As NeNe would say… BAM!

MUAH!

Fresh off a banner year which included a capsule line for Target, Missoni’s little sister, M., freshens up the Spring scene with pops of color and bold patterns that are sure to have many a fashionista drooling. Long the lover of a cropped jacket, I went mad when I saw this black and white cutie. Equal parts Marlo Thomas circa ‘That Girl’ and Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock, this modern piece is sure to be part of your wardrobe for seasons and years to come. Of course, I LOVE the orange pop of the shorts pictured above. But for more season-less wear, pair with black leggings or trousers, any color of skinny jeans or a chic and fitted LBD… LWD between Easter and Labor Day.

MUAH!

divaD

One of the most common New Year’s Resolutions is to get lighter. Mine is to get brighter! And this duo from La Prairie is just what the diva ordered. The White Caviar Illuminating Eye Serum has literally transformed the darkness under my eyes to the point where I don’t even need much concealer. After just six weeks, not only are the eyes brighter but smoother. For even faster results use it with the Clarisonic Opal. And for nights out on the town when you want that Hollywood look, go with their Light Fantastic Concealer and Brightener. It’s one of the only brighteners on the market that will also camouflage for a flawless look. AND you can even apply it over powder with nary a streak in sight. My 2012 future definitely looks brighter thanks to La Prairie!

MUAH!

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Is it just me or do Kyle and Mauricio throw terrible parties…? After kicking Russell and Taylor to the curb (literally) at their white party, they attack poor Kim and Ken II they minute they arrive in Hawaii. True, Russell was shady with that e-mail. However, as hosts, you have a duty to minimize the embarrassment of any guest, regardless of how tacky they behave. And having your posse of mutual friends all gang up curbside to basically form a red rover/human velvet rope was just ghetto. The least they could have done was send ‘em off with a Fatburger doggy bag for the limo ride home.

On to Hawaii and the shenanigan that is Kim and Ken II. After two seasons it’s clear that Kim is not playing with a full deck. Old Maid cards, perhaps but no Kings, Queens or Aces. Although she has found herself a little Joker in Ken II. That the rest of the ladies and their husbands feign shock that Kim is late, MIA or just plain high is just nonsense. But if Kyle and Maurice (LOVE that Kim calls him Maurice… LOL) had an issue, confront them in private. Not at the start of a dinner party which obviously made the new hot couple, Brandi and Camille, very uncomfortable. The bottom line is who is the bigger fool; the fool or the fool who tries to get the fool to behave? Or, maybe you two are hatin’ because this couple can just float through life (and your parties) without having to answer to anyone. Kyle, let it go because they don’t care!

On a side note, does Dana own that home…? Hardly any furniture, bare cupboards in the kitchen and that annoying echo from a lack of carpets, throw pillows or art to absorb the sound… Sounds like someone is frontin’!

MUAH!

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In this corner, diva leather short-shorts courtesy of Haute Hippie. These are just too fabulous for words. I’m sooooooooo in love that I cannot sleep with thoughts of which restaurant to rock them at first. At $400 (not including the prerequisite “lift and separate alterations”), that’s just $100 per season: Winter — pair with chocolate brown sweater set and wedge, ankle hiking booties; Spring — chunky silk blend sweater with loafers; Summer — linen over-sized shirt… no shoes required; Fall — Crisp dress shirt with high-tops. Now that I have all the seasonal looks down let’s hope I can wait for “Santa” (or FedEx)to slip these under my tree!

MUAH!

Just in time for the Holiday Season, a fabulous tool to help all the divas of the world get their flirt on! Frustrated with the “kick in the teeth” that is aging, I’m determined to kick back as hard as possible. So when I realised I was going through more tubes of mascara to get barely noticeable lashes, it was time to call in the big guns. And one of the biggest guns of all was found in a tiny, silver package from my favourite shopping destination… NEIMAN MARCUS! Leave it to the cosmetic buyers/gurus to present something that helps grow and strengthen lashes in just four weeks. All without the need of prescription. Skeptical at first, I heard nothing but rave reviews from all that have tried it. And four weeks on my lashes are longer, fuller and just plain BAM! And that’s without mascara. Look out New Year’s Eve, there’s a new addition to my flirting arsenal… WINK!

MUAH!

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The bar in my home was looking a bit barren so it was off to Horchow.com for something substantial but not too expensive. I came across a familiar set of highballs and double old-fashioneds by Ralph Lauren… In German crystal, no less! My last encounter with these sparklers was poolside at the home of client in Paradise Valley, Arizona. After calculating the price for a dozen of each style I decided to slow my roll and order just four of each — I do still have my eye on that Bernhardt chair.  Three days later they arrived on the patio just in time for weekend cocktails with the neighbors. After tearing into them, cleaning and swiftly filling the “bare” area on the bar, I raced upstairs and ordered another set of each! Now if I can only decide between Scotch on the rocks or Gin & Tonics to break ‘em in…!

MUAH!